happy fourth of july! so I haven't updated in awhile (story of my life) and I guess a lot has happened...

I have officially survived freshman year, not without some drama but overall quite a fantastic year. summer is finally here, and I've just been working and hanging out. Its nice to have friends at work, it makes it actually worthwhile.

Mom had surgery on Tuesday but she's home and doing quite well :) it's been weird though to have her be...off. And its stressing out my dad a lot which is kind of annoying/upsetting. But its amazing discovering how many close friends my mom has, all offering to help out with anything we might need. Hopefully this will be the extent of her treatment and she won't need chemo *fingers crossed* but I'm confident she'll be able to handle it all really well.

on a more positive note - I'm heading to new york/baltimore in 2 weeks!! I'm so so so excited to see everyone, and I'm really glad I get to be there for Elisa's birthday. It was fun seeing Rob in Chicago so I really can't wait to see everyone else. I'm a bit nervous about seeing a couple people but I'm excited over all.

well I'm headed to hannah's for a 4th of july party, hopefully it will be uber enjoyable!

wow. this month could not be shittier. Friday confirmed that, bringing what had been a promising week to a terrible end. I guessed what had happened before I even heard when I had a text from Michelle and a missed call from mc2. I freaked when I heard though, and I was at a movie theater so I didn't know what to do. I had to control myself as best I could but all I wanted to do was collapse. I hurried back to find georgina and michelle..its great having them here but we've all kind of being dealing with this separately. this isn't a good place to grieve, so I think I've just been avoiding it. If a memory or something hits me, I have to find a place to go so I can cry if I need to, but even then I feel awkward. Thank god spring break is only a week away, I couldn't last any longer. I need to be at home, and to see my friends. We need each other to handle this. I know its been hitting certain people harder than others and I almost feel bad when I sit around laughing with my friends or about the fact that I went out to a party last night. This year has taught me that I tend to just distract myself from things that upset me. I just don't deal with them until I have to. Which, unfortunately, makes it that much harder when I finally do deal with it. This month has thrown so much shit at me that I just don't know what to do, and if things don't get better after break I may have some serious problems.

Right now it just hasn't quite registered as real. Everything has happened in such a rush, and I just keep imagining her alive and laughing and even yelling at us like she always did. I am so thankful that she was able to fight it the first time and that we had that much more time with her, but it makes it that much harder when she didn't get better this time. I realized that we were her last graduating class, and it made me at once sadder and also made me feel closer to her. She influenced me more than I realized at the time. I'm glad I sent her an email when I did but I still wish I had done more - sent a card, a letter, another email. Every time I see or hear about Le Petit Prince, green peas, sunflowers, anything French - that class has had so many memories for me.

I like the idea of having a memorial service this summer so that alums can attend since most people can't make it to the funeral tomorrow. I also like Georgina's idea of having a memorial garden (sunflowers?) with a baobab bird bath. Maybe some petit prince statues?

Cool. So I just rediscovered my livejournal...definitely have some stellar posts from back in the day (my last post was september 2006, jr year).

I have way too much to fully update since then so I guess these are the basics in my life right now:
in college now, love it
great new friends in the middle of nowhere
i've been essentially committing emotional suicide every day since xmas break
because of shit i didnt deal with in august
I hate myself for it
but it will all be ok
once I force myself to deal
boys are stupid
I've started to hate snow
thank god its in the double digits
I'm already ready for spring break
I should be doing work right now, what else is new
boys are really stupid
they make me feel stupid
yeeeeeaaa....

This is the most pointless entry ever?

Glad to be back I guess.

lucky me. figures i would get sick @ 3 am on our day off. yay?

so yea..ive been awake since like..god knows when..throwing up & the like. gross, yes. but you arent the sick one.

call me?
if you dont mind possible contagiousness, feel free to stop by, as i definitly wont be going anywhere today.

yay i havent updated in a while..so lets talk about last night!

I fell asleep afterschool, woke up when i was supposed to be leaving, scrambled to get ready, forgot stuff so i had to turn around & go back, got yelled at by my dad, then sped to megs house. Michelle and mc2 were already there, and we spent about 40 minutes convincing meg to wear her ADORABLE new dress to the game. Haha we didnt leave her house til about 7:40, so we got to the game at halftime, but whatever. It was fun hanging out & seeing a bunch of ppl i hadnt seen in awhile...

afterwards, amanda & nicolette invited me to go hang out with them, so meg, michelle & i went with them and lane to the moss hall playground, where we ran into lauren, sarah w, and mary greer with a couple guys i dont know. lane left, and then they decided we should go write all over ppls cars, so after luke got to sms we headed off to ppls houses...no one really seemed to be home, so it was kind of lame & we only wrote on one persons car. pretty much everyone else decided to go home, but luke, me, meg & michelle got hungry so we went to chile's! pretty uneventful, except Dustin (our waiter) was a tad slow so we all got home really late. overall a rather entertaining evening tho.

slept late today and i have yet to do anything remotely productive..maybe ill read some beowulf.
or not.
call me?

what made me laugh today:

mch - "im a rapist. vasi said so."
me - "no, you're a whore."
mch - "whats the difference??"
me - "whores get paid."

what made YOU laugh today?

woohoo so last night was fun..after mc2s party, rachael i first wandered memphis before meeting sous @ mcdonalds. then we harassed luke over the phone and ended up goin to his house..more sitting around being semibored ensued, until we decided to go walk around his neighborhood to the lake. Once there, we decided a swim would be nice, so rachael & i dove in, followed by luke. sous, however, chose that moment to leave and disappeared lol. so we swam around for awhile while rachael spazzed about leeches being everywhere until these random ppl showed up to swim too..even tho it was like 11 pm. haha there was this one guy was like 25 and the rest were 17 or 19 or something, so idk what that loser was doing, but they were kinda weird & creepy & whatnot...as we were walking back to lukes they drove past us and like slowed down as if they might say something, then sped off & muttered 'hey'...then rachael came back to spend the night and we hung out outside, got attacked by mosquitos, tried to convince various ppl to sneak over, then collapsed into bed around 3 to complain about boys xD. yea. fun night. then i woke up & had to go to the orthodontist and dentist. Uuuugh. o well

descent anyone? tonite..740...

YAAAY IM HOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!

after sitting in the charlotte, nc airport for 3 frickin hours for literally the most POINTLESS reasons, im finally home. and happy bday mc2!!

I WANNA COME HOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!!!

god. im so beyond ready to be home its not even funny. dont get me wrong, ascenders/camp was AMAZING and the best summer ive ever had, but by the end of camp, when everyone was all like 'woohoo i get to go home!!" i was like AHH NOOO cause im still on vacation. yes, im at the beach, and yes, i love it here. but it lacks several things - namely you people & my cats. o and tv & better internet would be nice, but i can deal without those. havent really had them. yea..havent watched tv in 7 1/2 weeks but whatever. anywho...yea. im bored. and i hate summer reading. and i really really really REALLY REALLY want to just be home & see everyone & figure out wtf is going on in life. *sigh* just under a week. i get back around dinner time monday so i can still do something that night!!

and god PLEASE call me while im here. my phone will be with me at all times, and although theres a time change, who gives a shit i wanna talk to you people.

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

teenage mutant ninja turtles ROCK!

yay. camp is cool. Peace camp was fun and i miss juley already. ta-ta darling.

hanging out @ walmart tonite because we ASCENDERS are just that awesome. jealous, eh?